I think I have to schedule sex...oops I mean date night(s)(s)(s) this week!
I know that sounds ridiculous. The thought of scheduling sex, I mean, date night makes me a bit uncomfortable. But, the thought of mommy and daddy time with my hunk-of-a-husband helps me to work through any discomfort I might have.
See here's the thing... once upon a time I lived in the land of Rest & Relaxation. In this land I had three children: Ryan II (17), Michael Joshua (13), and Raven Michelle (9). While they weren't grown, they were old enough to be by themselves so that I and my hunk-of-a-husband (that's his real name y'all) could have weekly date nights.
All of our date nights were extremely fun, but one took the cake. That's when we moved from the land of Rest & Relaxation to the land of #IGot4Kids. The land of IGot4Kids is great. Its a lot of fun. I'm constantly surrounded by beautiful people, and the laughter never ends. But, in the land of IGod4Kids, there is very little sleep, as kid #4, Brandon Alexander prefers his first feeding of every single day to be at 3:00am. This new land leaves very little time for unscheduled events, and the exhaustion of doing your part in this land will often result in you collapsing into bed. This is very different than the land of Rest & Relaxation where the quiet nights lulled you to sleep.
This busy, hectic place requires me to prioritize and respect my date/sex life so much that I literally put it on my calendar. There's sooo much more I could share with you about this new land, but suffice it to say if you are also in this land, or if you live in one of our neighboring communities (#IGot3Kids, #WeHaveCrazyJobs #IHelpEverybody, #NobodyHelpsMe, or #WhatIsSleep) and you want to make sure that you continue to have a healthy sex life...just for a little while... you may want to put date/sex night(s)(s)(s) on your calendar.
It won't be like this always...it shouldn't be like this always...but while it is remember that sex is too important to the health of your marriage to forget about it!
With us living in a society that is composed of homes in which both spouses working a full-time job is the norm, it can be difficult to spend any time with each other. As much as I love my husband and he loves me, we can go from 9am to 5pm without hearing each other's voice. Then comes the kids! Like most couples - we text each other throughout the day, but there is something about being in the physical presence of someone who truly loves and adores you! It is not uncommon to find us hiding on our deck after dinner and yelling at kids to go away because your mom and dad are off duty! We need that time with each. No matter how short it is, it helps us to be the best version of ourselves!
Spending time with someone who loves you can rejuvenate your spirit in a way that nothing else can. I know that our busy lives can make it difficult, but we all have to make sure to prioritize our time together.
I have read several pieces that provide an exact amount of time that spouses should spend together. On average the writers recommended somewhere between 15-20 minutes of time together daily.
While I do agree that we should spend time together daily, I encourage you to ignore the clock on the wall and focus more on the quality of the time. If in the moment your focus is on:
Make sure to set aside time daily to connect face-to-face with each other.
Don't focus on the quantity of time, just focus on the quality of time.
As always, Imagine Me Counseling is here to help you build #AMarriageWorthFightingFor!