I have had the privilege to listen to quite a few couples since I began practicing as a therapist in 2006. One of the most common problems I've noted is that individuals in unhealthy relationships tend to love selfishly.
Selfish loves comes from the perspective of, "What can you do for me?" or "How can you make me feel better?" Selfish love prioritizes the needs of the individual over the needs of the relationship.
Successful marriages are grounded in compassionate love. Compassionate love prioritizes the needs of the relationship, i.e. the needs of both people. People who love compassionately are not satisfied with focusing only on their needs. Compassionate lovers simultaneously prioritize the needs of both themselves and their partner.
Compassionate lovers ask the question, "What is it that we both need for us to both feel fulfilled in this relationship?" and "How can we work together to make those desires our reality?"
A compassionate lover recognizes that if both partners give the relationship what it needs to thrive, then the relationship will reward them with a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment that cannot be easily matched.
If you and/or your spouse is/are experiencing challenges with loving compassionately, contact the office of Imagine Me Counseling, LLC. We are successful, results-driven therapists who are passionate about helping our couples build marriages worth fighting for.
Imagine Me Counseling, LLC